On Parenting

Gratitude to Google

I should premise this with the disclosure that I have no children.  The above picture is representative of how I remember the "fear" that governed my childhood behavior.  I was a fairly mature youth and did not require much discipline (Mom: if you are reading this...no comments please;-).  I remember one time I stuck one of my prized Matchbox cars into my dress sock before heading out to church.  Having found out who was giving the homily (I was raised Roman Catholic), I went straight for the concealed car.  It entertained me, while the oration went far beyond its apportioned period.  There was no punishment in this case because no one noticed what I was doing.  It is that simple skill children today rarely exhibit: discretion.  Well behaved tomfoolery is hardly cause for concern.

During my time off, I've seen quite a few parents with small children running about town for errands and adventures alike.  Why is it that so many children are so badly behaved...or is it that they are very badly parented?  Perhaps it's just the memory of my own childhood that arouses these questions.  For those of you reading, this is not meant to be a condemnation of all parents, only the parents who let their children run amok.

A tantrum in public was simply unacceptable in my household.  Children today seem to throw tantrums for minuscule motives.   I feared the worst should I get out of hand.  One small child recently threw a fit in the middle of the post office for the reasons completely imperceptible.  The young boy was running all around the post office without any supervision.  Worse yet, the mother did not notice at all.  How did she not notice the lout disturbing patrons by bumping into them and screaming all the while?  Once she realized he was missing, probably from a lack of piercing shrieks, she ventured to find him.  He had just made a run for the exit and nearly got away with it.  He then threw a tantrum.  I was appalled.  Yet the mother let it continue.

Suffice it to say that it would not have flown under my supervision.  This brings me to my next question.  Why, as Americans, do we seemingly put up with it rather than speaking out?  In France it would have been completely acceptable for an adult to drag the child to his parent and deliver a stern reprimand to each.  The reason must be the state of our highly national consciousness.  The thought of such a lawsuit makes me immeasurably happy that I left the idea of law school in the past (more on that another time).

I welcome your thoughts, stories and even your opposition.

"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."-P. J. O'Rourke

BTG

Thank You Note

Whilst we all seem to be on the topic of post holiday gratitude, I figured it was time to establish some guidelines for showing one's thanks with elegance. Firstly, there ought be no thank you emails, text messages, or the like for holiday gifts and parties. Let's agree to reserve those for the more voluminous daily socializing. The method of distinction is namely the handwritten missive. One should be composed on proper stationery and penned with a steady hand in ink from your favorite fountain pen.

But what of content, you ask. I live by four memorable rules.

1. Authenticity

Authenticity should come naturally in the note. Explain how you felt at the occasion to which you were invited or how the gift made you feel when you opened it.

2. Clarity

Clarity comes down to your grasp of flow, both of ink and thought. Do not scratch out an error! Begin again in that event. If you must, use standard paper for practice first (yes, I do this from time to time). Remember that the note is not worth much if the receiver can't read it. With regard to the language, be clear and not vague in statements you make.

3. Brevity

I have a strict rule that anecdotes must fit into a single short sentence. No one wants to read a 5 page thank you note filled with stories of how the gift reminded you of an event your childhood.

4. Eloquence

Simply write the note with the reader in mind in order to best get your point across. I presume you know enough about the individual to tailor the messaging for effectiveness.

I recommend using your personalized stationary, but in its absence use a standard Crane's card and envelope set. For information on when a note needs to be sent see Social Primer's latest post.

BTG

Why the Bow Tie?

Photo Courtesy of Esquire UK

First let us dispel some misconceptions of bow tie wearers. Not all who don the bow are of the dweeb variety. For those brave few with chutzpah, a bow tie sends an aplomb message to passers-by and familiars alike. Recently, this particular cravat derivative has seen an increase in popularity. In style or not, the bow tie is a semblance of something lost and forgotten in our breakneck modern age.

It evokes thoughts of chivalry, decorum and etiquette far removed from the daily practices commonly exhibited today. But while this may be, some, even those who do not necessarily subscribe to the bow tie doctrine, still exhibit these dwindling traits. In no way does this appurtenance bestow or guarantee propriety; although, it goes a long way in putting on that appearance. Beyond the higher order reasons for the bow tie, they are far less cumbersome than a standard necktie.

BTG